Be strong, my friend SG!

It was suppose to be a very nice Sat morning. I woke up early to get ready for my tennis lesson till I received a heart-stricken sms, SG's wife passed away in an accident. I could feel a chill right through my whole body & blacked out for few seconds. How did that happened, I screamed out this question in my heart. How can it happened to them when they just got back together I asked again? How can he accept such ending to their renewed relationship?

Life is such, unpredictable & full of mystery. Like Solomon said in his word, "Vanity of vanities, all is vanity.” (Eccl 1:1-2). What we have taken for granted seems to vanish away easily in split seconds, & it always happen without any warning. Seize the day! Seize every opportunity to do good, be good & appreciate life. I've learnt to do that....

Be strong my friend! My heart goes to you, sharing your grief & pain. Be strong & hold tight to the memories for comfort. I am sure she'll wants you to live life to the fullest & to enjoy every moment of your life. I am sure she loves you very much & knowing you well you love her too. She'll bring with her all the wonderful memories with you & keep them well. Just be strong my friend, there's hope.

I long to worship You....

I used to wonder how can one be hurt & been betrayed by their loved ones (& I'm not referring to loosing to death) up to the point that one can no longer able to cry, only feel the deep set crampy feeling at their chest - a pain that brings breathlessness & cause migraine. How can it be possible to have no more tears, not even able to utter a slight groan?

It's been long road, a rough & fruitless journey for the pasts 10 years. Somehow no matter what I do & say, I can't beat down the wall of selfishness, of possessiveness & judgemental spirits. I don't understand how can a person be so blinded from goodness & love revealing to them everyday, wasting away their lives by living in their own world & counting flaws. Sad for these people, who misses the genuine love & care that I bring to them everyday.

I confess my inability to fight on. Tiredness, disappointments & despair has overtaken me. I failed to make these persons see the light. Who can I run to except the One who is closest to my heart; One who will bring healing to my heart.

I long to go Home soon, where my spirit belongs to. Maranatha! I long to worship You, for You are the Only One who knows the secrets of my heart, knowing the pain that these people has brought to me; only You can breath a new breathe to my body. I'm submitting myself to Your Will in obedience, without asking why it has to happen to me. I know You are my Vindicator, You will bring justice to the matter.

O Lord, lighten my load, heal my pain. Help me to forgive as You have forgiven me.